Why am I in college? What in the world am I doing here? It is what my family fought for, and it is a convenient way to put off actual self-sufficiency. I get to this point every finals week where I realize I’m just part of a system and can’t escape it. I’m never sure whether to take myself seriously or not.

But the challenge, of course, is figuring out what I post and where and when. I intentionally planned to put the Philippines entries on a different page that would take a little more work to get to, because they are so much more personal, but other stories would get lost if left only in context. And I realize I’ve been censoring from the blog a lot of the people I’ve met and fascinating conversations I’ve had, when those encounters are really what have been most relevant and important (and interesting, if I do say so myself) to me, my personal formation, my observations on the world. I leave them out and I code them in symbols and passing sentences because I’m afraid of corrupting the intimacy of those experiences, and I’m afraid of revealing them prematurely to a tiny but unknown audience. I mean, who am I allowed to exploit here? Exactly.

Also, I suppose the other question is, why don’t I write this much in my journal all the time? Aren’t I always on a journey, a pilgrim of sorts?